Typical ways you abandon yourself
In this day and age we tend to abandon ourselves a lot. Often we feel like there isn’t enough time for self care or that we have to be there for others first. Here are some typical ways you abandon yourself.
Not saying no when you want to
If your first impulse is to say no, then say no. Unless you wanna work specifically on saying yes to certain things, you should always listen to that gut feeling. I don’t know how many times I said yes to things just because I thought that I had to do it to please others.
Not asking for help when you need it
This is a big one and I understand that it is not very easy to change this pattern, but it is so worth it. If you need to vent, want to get advice or simply can’t do something alone, learn to ask for help. The part of it that feels uncomfortable is a mix of fear of rejection and growth.
Making promises to yourself & not holding them in
Often you’ll make a promise to yourself randomly. You’ll do this after you’ve talked to that person. Things like that. Try to hold these promises in and make less but more impactful ones. Also be more self-compassionate when you can’t keep a promise to yourself.
Not filling your own cup first / people pleasing
If you constantly put others first, you don’t live for yourself anymore. We can lose our own identity in helping others too much. You are not the caregiver of all your friends and you don’t need to spend emotional energy on every problem around you. Start filling your cup first and fulfill your needs before the needs of others.
Negative self talk
Negative self talk, in general, can come from mental illness, but if you actively and consciously talk down on yourself you should really stop doing that. It makes you pessimistic and is a recipe for developing depression over the years. There are a lot of good resources for developing more positive self talk.
Not setting boundaries & cutting people out
This is the biggest point on this list in my opinion. If you don’t set boundaries you will let yourself get used and will burn yourself out with time. If you don’t cut energy vampires out of your life either and want to appeal to them instead, you need to work on that with professional help. You might feel drawn to this toxic type of dynamic and that is not good for you.
Those were some typical ways you abandon yourself. All of these points and self-abandonment in general have a close connection to not identifying and fulfilling your own needs. If you wanna learn to get better at that I have a free guide on fulfilling your needs for you. Let me send it to you:
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Typical ways you abandon yourself by Rabea