Ways you are wasting your time
I recently started this trend of deleting my social media out of overwhelm and started realising that there are tons of ways you are wasting your time as a human being in the western world. Here are all the ways you are wasting your time that I wrote down in the last weeks.
Like I already mentioned, this stuff is overwhelming. Sure, I love tweeting about political and social issues. I love editing and posting pictures. I love connecting with people online. Sometimes it just goes too far. I used my phone 11 hours per day. ELEVEN. You’d think that would only be Spotify or Youtube running as a background and sometimes this is true, but it mostly was me scrolling through Instagram, Twitter & Tumblr and reading comments. I really need to find a way to not read comment sections anymore and ignore popular pages. Cause for me and most of you those are the real time wasters.
My suggestion for you would be to put a timer on your social media apps. That works with pretty much all phones that came out in the last 2-3 years. I also used the app Forest to be more strict with myself while I actually work. Since app timers didn’t always work I just deleted apps for 1-2 weeks and will probably do that in the future.
Getting mad at things that won’t matter in a week
The only things that are not in this category are pretty much social issues and stuff like sexism and racism…which is something I still think and internally rant about a lot. I thought this would be less of a problem in my head when I look at social media less but since I know it happens no matter if I see it on my feed or not, it’s also on my mind. Still figuring it out how to slow that down to be honest.
With all the other things online and offline you get upset over: Get rid of that habit. It’s not easy and sometimes I still think about that dumb discussion I had with someone on Twitter 7 weeks ago. I, too, have thoughts like this: “Why can’t people build sentences so you understand their point? Karen, tell me what you meant when you posted that picture of me as an answer with a vague caption implying you’re slut shaming me for showing my shoulder.”
Running after the wrong people/friends
If you have not trained your gut feeling with people you should start getting into that. Having a lot of empathy might have its downsides but I’m grateful to see 85% of bad people through the facade they have. I give second chances to people based on how intense something they did was, but then I consequently cut them out. This might be a big problem for some of you out there. Saying “No” to tons of things can be hard, even harder when those people you wanna cut out are manipulative.
I suggest you to search for some exercises online that help you determine which friends are the keepers, which are the “let’s meet every once in a while” people and which ones you can just cut out or just send a birthday card to every year. Friends have different levels and there is no shame in organizing them into these levels every once in a while. Helps you concentrate on the quality friends more.
Before you scream at me: No, I don’t mean cutting out all shows and movies! I love Netflix a lot and am awaiting Disney+ like a little child. The thing a lot of millenials and Gen Z people need to learn with consumption again is regulation. I watch one movie, rarely two in a day. I don’t watch shows everyday. Not even in the background (although I do that with YouTube videos). I only watch 1-2h of a show at once before I stop for one or two days. And at the time of writing this I don’t even have an active Netflix subscription. I only use streaming services about 50% of the year and only using gift cards to pay for them actually works for me.
The bottom line of what I’m trying to say is: Stop binge watching shows and tons of movies. That’s fun once a month as a movie night but not more than twice a month. It’s not good for your mental health and you can’t fully enjoy what you’re watching. Plan new releases into that movie night. Also: Write me some cool documentaries to watch on Netflix into the comments under this post. I love educational content.
I totally get that you want to party in your twenties and it can be a great way of socializing. But the chances of meeting good friends or a great partner decrease the more blackout drunk people get at a party. There is this spectrum of how much people consume. Maybe try to stay with the events where shit doesn’t go into a semi-blackout mode for most of the people. And yes, I’m talking about clubs too. That can be a fun thing every now and then but is it really that much fun? Rarely. Especially if you have a healthy relationship with alcohol. If you don’t, you should rethink partying in the first place.
Bottom line: Surround yourself with people that can have fun without numbing half of their feelings, keep alcohol intensive parties to a minimum and rethink how much you use alcohol as a coping mechanism.
Stressing out over what others think
This is a big one for pretty much all of us. I’d say I’m pretty confident and open about my life with a “I don’t care” attitude, but even I notice the effects social media and our society standards have on me. I have a pretty thin build but high hips (hip dips) and I have a body fat percentage that’s probably in the unhealthy region (skinny fat). Most days I like how I look, remind myself that it’s okay to look like this if you don’t have the most active lifestyle and love food and that most media we consume is either very posed or even photoshopped.
Other days I look at myself and I get thoughts about not working out regularly enough (which is mainly triggered by my back pain, which is the actual reason I should workout more) and not being overall active enough (which isn’t wrong, but should be a neutral thing not a negative one).
Everyone should try to better their confidence and self-worth levels. Everyone should remind themselves that we all think like this sometimes. And most importantly: Remember that this is just the vessel you’re using for this life. Your mind is so much more important. Oh, and maybe get a workout partner if that really is a big goal of yours.
Searching for love
This is kinda annoying and usually the time you invest isn’t worth the value you get. I’m 20 and I can say with my whole heart: I don’t see the point of 80% of online dating. It’s too much invested time to be disappointed more than 50% of the time. The only pages I could get behind are the ones with an actual questionnaire that match people with actual answers they gave about their values. But even then, why work on specifically dating when you can work on overall socializing and make friends along the way. In the end most of the partners you’ll have will develop from a friendship. Or you have this weird non-exclusive dating phase instead for befriending…which also is a concept I don’t fully understand. Cause it’s technically investing time to maybe date but with a decent chance of getting disappointed after putting tons of time into it, wow.
My point is: Work on yourself, socialize normally, stop using dating apps that judge on looks and a caption. I only wrote and spoke with most of the closest friends I have now before even knowing how they look and that definitely say a lot about how looks just don’t matter that much with the right soul.
This post got longer than expected. Let me know what you have previously wasted a lot of time on and maybe browse my personal development category if you’re into this type of content.
If you want to better your mental health and overall life I’d suggest you to check out my eBook “MIND, BODY & SOUL” and grab a free chapter in my freebie library that you can access as a member of my Newsletter Squad:
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Ways you are wasting your time by Rabea